Psalm 38

A Psalm of David, for the memorial offering. 

1 O LORD, rebuke me not in your anger, nor discipline me in your wrath!

2 For your arrows have sunk into me, and your hand has come down on me.

Psalm 38 is the third of the penitential psalms (6,32, 38, 51, 102, 130, 143), and it is one of the most intense. While not an acrostic, it is formed into 22 verses, a technique that suggests completeness. Presumably David has sinned and is experiencing the wrath of God in the form of sickness and social ostracization. It’s interesting that this psalm immediately follows a psalm that promises a good long life to the righteous and a short violent one for the wicked. David seems to be the latter category in this psalm. This demonstrates that we must never assume that we can’t fall. Pride goes before a fall, and our righteousness is something in which we can take pride. Perhaps David took pride in the fact that he was a man after God’s own heart, that he had killed a giant, led men in victorious battle, and secured a large and prosperous kingdom for his people. Perhaps he began to assume that all of this was because of his greatness and thinking himself great, began to help himself to whatever and whomever he wanted. We don’t know that this psalm was composed following his adulterous affair, for there is no mention of his sickness in the historical account. In fact, we have no clues from the historical narratives of when this episode might have occurred. David links his sickness and physical suffering with his sin. His pain is a direct result of the wrath and discipline of God coming upon him. The Hebrew in verse 2 is literally, “Your arrows have descended, your hand.” It’s as if he can’t finish the sentence. Imagine a barrage of arrows arching over the wall and hitting their marks on David’s vulnerable flesh. This is what he feels. Not only is there the pain associated with God’s arrows, but the sense of doom, that he will not recover. All David can do is pray, “Stop!” “Don’t do it!” The connection in David’s mind is clear, God’s wrath is not the willy nilly random arrows shot by a mad man. David is experiencing the consequences of his own decisions, and God’s word is proving itself true. The wicked are cut off (Psalm 37) and even the best of us are capable of doing the worst of things. I never want to experience the kind of pain that David describes here. For it is not just the physical pain but the emotional pain of forsaking the God who had done so much for him. It is the realization that David has become the traitor. He is now the bad guy that he used to point to in arrogant derision. It is a tragic reversal of his own making. And don’t be fooled -- if it can happen to David, it can happen to anyone. The occasion of this psalm is “the memorial offering”, the offering for remembering. Remember what happened to David and learn from it. 

3 There is no soundness in my flesh because of your indignation; there is no health in my bones because of my sin.

4 For my iniquities have gone over my head; like a heavy burden, they are too heavy for me.

David describes his condition in painful detail. There is no soundness in his flesh because of God’s indignation, no shalom in his bones because of his sin. There are two stated causes for David’s suffering. First, there is God’s indignation, his anger and wrath, which David is experiencing in the form of physical pain and weakness. This is seen as God’s just judgment for David’s behavior. David doesn’t dispute that here (although he does in other psalms). He as much as acknowledges this in the second half of the verse with the phrase, “because of my sin.” The Hebrew word for sin in verse 3 is similar to the Greek work hamartia, “missing the mark”, striking because of reference to God’s arrows in the previous verse. The arrows of Gods’ judgment have hit their mark while David’s behavior “missed the mark.” The Hebrew word for iniquities in verse 4 suggests the relational dysfunction that results from sin and the internal disjointedness that occurs when we are at odds with God. David’s iniquities have “passed over” his head. This image suggests that David is drowning in his sin and it is beyond his ability to rise above it. He then describes the weight of his sin, using the word cabod or heaviness. This word is usually translated “glory” as in the weight of God, the overwhelming nature of his being, but here it is the overwhelming pressure of David’s sin and the deadly fallout on everyone around him. The poetry paints a dire picture of the awful consequences of sin. This serves as a sobering reminder to avoid sin and the resulting iniquity. What might begin as a slight compromise can descend into a series of actions that potentially become a hand grenade tossed into a family. David’s life is illustrative of this, and perhaps that’s why we have such a clear record of his actions. I never want to be in David’s position here. No one does. But none of us is immune from this potential. Guard your life and your doctrine closely or you may find yourself drowning in sin, the weight of it all a millstone around your neck, pulling you helplessly to the bottom. 

5 My wounds stink and fester because of my foolishness,

6 I am utterly bowed down and prostrate; all the day I go about mourning.

Not only is David weak and dying as a result of his sin, but he actually has open sores and wounds that stink and fester. This suggests perhaps gangrene has set in or perhaps some other infection of a wound that is oozing puss. He lays blame for this clearly on his own folly. The word for “bowed down” is related to the word for “iniquity” in the previous verse. David recognizes the deep relational and internal brokenness that exists when sin has been committed. The word “prostrate” is the common word for “worship”, but here it is in the more literal sense of the word, to be on one’s face before someone greater. This sin seems to have that kind of power that he falls before it. Alternately he is bowing before the mighty hand of God asking for forgiveness and restoration. All day, every day he walks around in mourning. David’s sin was grievous in that it must have been a doozy. It must have been as Psalm 19:13 puts it, “a great transgression”, affecting not only himself but other innocent people who got caught up in the explosion, the collateral damage upon a wife and children and in David’s case, a kingdom. Again, we don’t know what this sin was, and there’s no record that his sin with Bathsheba resulted in physical wounds. However, physical wounds aren’t always the most painful as those with psychological and emotional scarring can attest. In light of what we know today through the field of psychology, the metaphor of a festering wound is quite apt. The world is filled with the walking wounded, zombie-like as a result of the wrongs they have done and the wrongs done to them. Sin always wounds and left untreated those wounds will fester. They will bow you down and leave you face down on the floor. Isn’t it good to know that through Jesus we can be healed of these wounds. By his wounds we are healed. The forgiveness that David so earnestly sought was ultimately provided by his own ancestor. 

7 For my sides are filled with burning, and there is no soundness in my flesh.

8 I am feeble and crushed; I groan because of the tumult of my heart.

In addition to overall weakness and general malaise, festering and stinking wounds, constant grief, David is suffering from burning pain in his side (literally “loins”). There is internal pain that feels like a fire roasting him inside out. The pain is so intense that he can do nothing but focus on it, leaving him weak and unable to function. The word translated “feeble” is elsewhere translated as “numb”, suggesting perhaps a point has been reached where the pain is so continuous that David becomes numb to all else. The body sort of turns down the sensitivity to pain as a matter of survival. The only thing he seems to have energy for is groaning. The word “groan” is elsewhere translated as “roar”, as is the word “tumult”. David is roaring out loud because of the roaring in his heart. We cannot hide on the outside what is going on inside. It will inevitably make itself known. The turbulence in David’s heart is expressed in his loud cries and groans. Again, we can’t help but think of Jesus of whom it was said in Hebrews 5:7, “in the days of his flesh, Jesus offered up prayers and supplications, with loud cries and tears, to him who was able to save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverence.” David is a type of Christ in his suffering here, and Jesus in his life took on the suffering not only of David, but of all of humanity. These verses could very well describe the experience of Jesus on the cross as well, the physical, emotional, and relational pain was excruciating (a word which is derived from “the cross”). Whatever spiritual, emotional, physical or relational pain you are suffering, know that Jesus has felt it as well. The sinless one bore our sins in his body. The pain that David describes here was felt by Jesus as surely as it was by David. This is the mystery of the Christian faith and why it has a better answer for the problem of pain and suffering than any other religion or philosophy. 

9 O Lord, all my longing is before you; my sighing is not hidden from you.

10 My heart throbs; my strength fails me, and the light of my eyes—it also has gone from me.

David’s language here gives one the sense that he is now an open book. His secrets are known, his sin has been revealed, and there is no more hiding, no more rationalizing and justification for his behavior. He has been caught in the trap that he set, he has fallen into the pit that he made and he is utterly helpless to escape. The Lord sees everything and so David holds nothing back. His heart pounds and his strength fails as he senses that the end is near. The light has gone out of his eyes -- this is a metaphor for death. Today I’m thinking of a mother I know who just lost her daughter in a car accident. I can’t imagine the grief, and the phrase, “the light of my eyes -- it also has gone from me” feels appropriate. It is as if David no longer wants to go on living, just as we sometimes feel when grieving. We want to go and join our loved ones who’ve gone before us. David is at the very bottom -- his health is gone and his hope is fading as well. When we are at that point in our lives, know that Jesus is with us. He himself suffered grief in his life (likely the death of his father and certainly the death of his friend Lazarus), and he ultimately bore our grief on the cross. The light from his eyes was gone on that Friday afternoon as he breathed his last, pouring out the last full measure for our salvation. This is the confidence we have in facing any pain -- Jesus is suffering with us and he will bring us through it to the other side. David didn’t have this hope in the same way that we do, but what he had was enough to sustain him beyond this existential crisis. At some point, the light will go from my eyes, my heart will beat its last and my strength will be gone. It is an inevitable moment for everyone. The question is, will you be ready? Will you live today to see that more people are ready for that moment by sharing the gospel? 

11 My friends and companions stand aloof from my plague, and my nearest kin stand far off.

12 Those who seek my life lay their snares; those who seek my hurt speak of ruin and meditate treachery all day long.

David moves to the sociological effects of his condition. His friends and companions stand aloof from his sickened condition. His nearest kin, that is, his immediate family stand far off. This is a statement of abject loneliness. This is what happens for example when you commit a crime and no one wants to associate with you. They talk about you behind your back and shake their heads but no one approaches you for fear of being guilty by association. Or perhaps it’s not a crime per se but it’s something like adultery where you’ve betrayed your oath to those who are closest to you. You face the anger of a spouse and children and the estrangement even of grand children and other relatives. This is one of the consequences of sexual sin that doesn’t occur in the moment, but is one of the harshest penalties a person will pay. The other relational context here is that of David’s enemies. They are seeking to entrap him. They speak of his ruin with glee and meditate on treachery all day long. Their focus is on destroying him. It’s not too difficult to see this in the political realm — political enemies do this kind of thing all the time as they vie for power. Most of us don’t have these kinds of enemies, but we do have an enemy who is seeking to kill, steal and destroy and he never rests. He is literally mediating treachery all day long and the Accuser is speaking of my ruin. He is laying traps for me to fall in in the hopes that I will become guilty of a great transgression and my world come crashing down and my Father would be disappointed. Be on your guard against this enemy so that you family and friends do not become your enemy because of your painful actions. 

13 But I am like a deaf man; I do not hear, like a mute man who does not open his mouth.

14 I have become like a man who does not hear, and in whose mouth are no rebukes.

David deals with all of this pain, physical and relational, by shutting down. He has become like a deaf man who neither hears nor speaks. He is in another world in a sense. His personal pain drowns out the voices of those that are speaking to him. He is in utter self-imposed isolation. Verse 14 echoes the previous one only stating it a bit stronger. Where in the past he might have been the one to rebuke, to strike back, in this case he is silenced. He has nothing to say. There are no words. When we sin so deep and fall so far, there are no words to say to those whom we’ve disappointed. Apologies fall short and often only invite anger. I’ve witnessed this relational breakdown in the past and it is ugly — family members yelling at the perpetrator, forever cutting them off from relationship. This loss is only heightened at the special moments in life that will not be shared. I can’t get away from the possibility that this is sexual sin because this is the kind of consequence that we see today when this happens in a family. Betrayal is the worst type of pain and the guilty one simply has nothing to say, there is no excuse that justifies what he or she has done. And all the children know is that everything has blown up and will never be the same again. How do you move beyond infidelity? David just closes down and isolates as the rebukes rain down on him, he has nothing to say. He will forever bear the disgrace of his sin and there’s nothing he can do to change that. No amount of good works can forever wash away the blight. Let this serve as a strong warning to us today to remain true to our vows and stay on the path of purity. 

15 But for you, O LORD, do I wait; it is you, O Lord my God, who will answer.

16 For I said, “Only let them not rejoice over me, who boast against me when my foot slips!”

David expresses a turning point in these verses, two-thirds of the way through. He makes a declaration of trust by simply saying that he waits for the LORD. He expresses confidence that the Lord will answer. Notice the terms of address in verse 15, LORD, Lord my God, declaring that the LORD is indeed his God. His prayer begins with a desire that his enemies wouldn’t have reason to celebrate. The slipping of his foot suggests some type of failure on David’s part. It’s possible a foot slip could be accidental, but it’s more likely to have a been a moral or leadership failure given the confession that follows. David is seeking to avoid the public consequences of his sin, the shame and embarassment that comes when a moral failure is known to all, and even perhaps exaggerated in the retelling. David wants to win in the end. In the following verses he’ll acknowledge the destructive nature of sin and admit what he deserves, so this is a prayer for mercy, that the consequences of his actions would be mitigated by God when it comes to the perception of others, his enemies in particular. The words here could equally apply to our great enemy, the Accuser of our souls who rejoices when our feet slip. Don’t give him that pleasure, instead fight to keep your feet on the path of Jesus, and should your feet slip, fall into the arms of God and receive his mercy. 

17 For I am ready to fall, and my pain is ever before me.

18 I confess my iniquity; I am sorry for my sin.

David is on the verge of falling. He’s just prayed that his enemies would not rejoice when his foot slips, and here he says that he is ready to fall, which I assume means that he is about to fall from his position of leadership and authority. There is a sense that the end is near, his pain is continuous. He is at a crisis point, and a decision must be made. A stake in the ground, a moment that becomes a turning point, what the New Testament refers to as repentance. There is nothing else to do but what he does — he confess his iniquity and express his sorrow for his sin. He has reached that point where there are no other options. Hiding and obfuscating have run their course and there is no pretending that all is well inside. I assume that the confession here is to God, although it’s also a good idea to confess our sins to one another as well. But as David prayed in Psalm 51, his sin was against God and against him only (or ultimately). And the use of the word iniquity suggests that there is an internal disharmony in his relationship with God, the result of actively and willfully sinning. Sin has a corrupting effect on everything that it touches, and the extent to which we surrender to it, the more we will suffer ill effects, in some cases even the physical effects that David describes here. Have you reached this point in you struggle with sin? Are you done the hiding and denial? You will fall if you don’t do something. The pain is only going to continue until you seek healing. And healing starts with confession, with honesty with God. 

19 But my foes are vigorous, they are mighty, and many are those who hate me wrongfully.

20 Those who render me evil for good accuse me because I follow after good.

David’s enemies are strong, mighty and many. They hate him without cause. David is claiming to be the victim of injustice, but while that’s not completely true (he admits his own guilt), it is a reality that David’s weakness is being used by his enemies as an opportunity for their advancement at his expense. In a shame/honor culture where honor is agonistic, that is a source of continuous competition in a zero sum game, David’s loss of honor is an opportunity for his opponents to gain honor. David claims to be the good guy in this situation (even though he has admitted his own culpability), and no doubt he is thinking of his repentance here. He is doing what is right — confessing his sin and seeking God’s forgiveness and a chance to get it right this time. As David turns toward following God he reminds the LORD, not so subtly, that he is being treated unjustly as he tries to make things right. They return evil in exchange for David’s good deeds. He’s doing what’s right and yet he is still accused of wrongdoing. Even if David is right with God, he’s still not right with other people. This is something that he cannot fix. It’s not something that we can fix either. It’s important to forgive oneself and to accept God’s forgiveness, but we can’t control whether others will forgive us or not. We may have moved on, but that doesn’t mean everyone else has. This is a reality that goes along with sin. Sin always has relational consequences and these are no longer under your control even when you’ve accepted God’s forgiveness.

21 Do not forsake me, O LORD! O my God, be not far from me!

22 Make haste to help me, O Lord, my salvation!

This prayer is similar to that of Psalm 22, both in the language of being forsaken and the prayer that God would not be far from him. This series of three petitions highlights the fact that David understands his hope is only and ultimately in the LORD. His pride has gotten him into trouble and after being humiliated he recognizes that he has nowhere else to look but up to God. His desperation is apparent in his appeal, “hasten to help me”. He uses three different names for God in these two verses - YHWH, Eloah (a form of Elohim), and Adonai. While this may simply be for poetic variety, each name also has other associations. YHWH the personal, covenant name of God -- the Eternal Present One. Eloah -- the great high God of creation, the Lord of the earth of all its inhabitants. And Adonai -- lord, master, or husband, the one to whom we surrender and serve. It’s as if David didn’t want to leave anything out in his appeal. That David’s lament ends in a prayer should not be a surprise, request is one of the primary elements of lament. It’s fitting that the final word of this psalm is a word of hope and confidence. It is the word salvation -- a word that shares the same root yeshua, Jesus. Jesus will be the ultimate salvation of Jesus. God will in Christ bring complete healing and restoration to David and to anyone who calls on his name. Just as David prayed that God would not be far from him in his time of crisis, so we can be confident that God will be with us in ours. We know this because of the cross. It is the most profound evidence that God has come near and entered into our crisis, that he suffers with us and actually redeems our suffering for our good and for His glory.